letter
by DramaDelicacy
Summary: Inside was a letter in a small white envelope. It smelled of something familiar and he felt his heart tug at something that he had forgotten for a long, long time.
It was the sound of bells that he heard first, and then the creak of wood, and lastly the quiet slam of metal. Raku pushed himself up on the couch, looked out the bay window and saw a mailman leaving. Putting down the book he was reading ( _The_ _Beginner's Guide to Fatherhood_ ), he stepped over some of the paperwork mess he had created over the weekend and towards the pale green mailbox.

Inside was a letter in a small white envelope. It smelled of something familiar and he felt his heart tug at something that he had forgotten for a long, long time. Turning the envelope over, he read the only words written on it; _Dear, Raku_.

He chose to read the letter outside, on his patio and facing the sea. Sighing, he set the letter aside and took out his notebook instead; remembering to write down a list of groceries his wife had told him to get from the store. He heard the front door swing open, and saw his wife standing there; a hand gently caressing her heavily pregnant belly.

"Would you like some tea?" she smiled.

"Yeah," he nodded. "That would be great. Thanks, Kosaki."

"Of course," she disappeared into the house only to reappear again a few moments later with a cup of chamomile tea. She set aside a neatly cut lemon and two packs of sugar for him. "I'll be upstairs if you need me."

She kissed the side of his forehead and he smiled, leaning into the kiss.

He sat in silence, his chair rocking slightly back and forth. The sound of the distant waves and seagulls flying not quite close to him but close enough calmed him. Taking a sip from the tea, he eyed the letter.

There was something almost unnerving in the way the white envelope sat there on the wooden side table, surrounded by clutters from his life. He took another sip of tea before setting the cup aside. He reached for the letter hesitantly, and after much difficulties, he took it in one fast swoop before he changed his mind.

He let his fingers ran across the surface of the envelope. When he closed his eyes, he could almost see his fingers running across a beautiful glimmering pale skin that wasn't his wife's. He ripped open the envelope after much contemplation, and inside was a single piece of paper and a key from a time he could barely remember.

He laughed at himself when he noticed his hands shaking from something he couldn't quite grip his mind around. Sighing, he rest his head on the back of the chair. It was as if he was pretending to decide whether or not he should read the letter, even though he already had the answer the moment he saw the letter in the mailbox. This situation was very nostalgic to when they were in high school and he was stuck between his love for two completely different girls, he thought bitterly.

 _It's unfair_ , he thought when he unraveled the paper.

 _Dear, Raku,_

He clenched his jaw when he heard her voice and he had to convince himself that this was just a letter. He wished he didn't have to read the letter, but he knew it took her much difficulties to write it and send it to him. So out of respect for her (yes, because that's what it was), he will read the letter.

 _Dear, Raku,_

 _It's been a while. I hope you're well. I heard about the news, and I wasn't sure how to properly congratulate you. I thought about it for a while and I finally decided this was probably the best way to do so._

 _I never got to congratulate you on your marriage either. Nor was I there for when you graduated university, top of your class, I heard. You have Shuu to thank for keeping me up to date. But then again, it was hard not to see news of you all over the tv — considering you're now the successor of the Shuuei Group._

 _I suppose there are things that I need to convey to you, as unfair as that is now that we are no longer in a place where we can, or should, talk about such sensitive things of the past._

 _I'm not sorry I ran away. Though granted, I shouldn't have. I should've stayed and expressed myself properly to both you and Kosaki. But I was, and I suppose still am, a coward. There aren't that many people in my life that I cherish greatly, but you and her are two of the few. I did what I thought was best to not only myself, but to the two of you._

 _I knew how much she loved you, and how much you loved her. I couldn't let myself be the wedge in a relationship I never had a place in. There are a few things I cherish more than romantic love, and the value of friendship is one of them. Ironically, it was my cowardice that led to the end of our friendship._

 _It wasn't rocket science to know that you were having some internal debate on who you love more, me or her. And I will never hate you for choosing her over me, because doing so would simply be unfair and wrong. In this kind of love, there will always be one person left behind, and I stopped wondering why a long time ago._

 _I wrote this letter to properly close that unfinished chapter from years ago. I didn't want to be that girl from when you were a kid who left you with a shadow to chase for so long._

 _I ran away, and you didn't come after me, and I was angry for a while but then I understood. I was a coward and I was selfish, and I shouldn't have tested you that way. You made your choice, and I made mine._

 _There's not much to say in such a small space, considering the kind of history we have with one another. So to conclude this, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for being my friend, thank you for your patience, your kindness, and your love. Thank you because even years after, I could still look back on our memories and learn from the little things you taught me. Thank you because you made me a better person._

 _I left the key to your locket in the envelope along with this letter. I heard everyone else gave their keys back to you, and so here's mine. Whatever you do with it, whether you throw it away or keep it, I hope that just looking at it when you open this letter will remind you of me. I hope that when you think of me, you don't think of the girl who ran away because she was too scared of being rejected._

 _I hope you think of all our stupid dates, of the times when we laughed and the times when we supported each other. I hope that when you think of me, you think only of the happy things we shared together and of the times I made you happy, just as you've made me happy._

 _Lastly, thank you for teaching me what it is to love someone._

 _Congratulations, Raku, on your graduation, marriage, and on being a father for the first time. Be happy, because I'm happy to say that I am._

 _Love, Chitoge Fujisaki._

Raku wasn't surprised when he realized he was crying about halfway into reading the letter. There was always something bittersweet about their relationship, and he knew that Chitoge will always hold a very special and important place in his heart. He took out the key and smiled when he looked at it.

When he closed his eyes, he could almost see her. The one he had forgotten, but not quite so. And true to her wishes, he thought of her smile and the times she made him happy. Raku folded the letter back into its envelope and he set them aside on the table. Leaning back on his chair, he took a sip from the tea his wife made and smiled.

It wasn't perfect, but every story ends, and he nodded to himself as he was finally able to close a chapter in his life.

* * *

a/n  
lmao did this make you cry cause i cried a lot. i wanted to write a nisekoi angst for so long and i think some of the most painful angst is when those involved are still alive and well, but they just moved on.  
i tried to end it in a more positive note, so i hope i did that well.  
\- _dramadelicacy._


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